The next few weeks were very uneventful. I spent the majority of my time working, even weekends as work suddenly got busy. I slowly realized over the weeks that I actually hated my job. I had never been in a situation before where I hated a job so I was trying hard to tough it out hoping that a new manger would make it better , whenever he finally started. Screaming matches in the building were such a common occurrence that I would often come home at night completely drained mentally. I knew one day soon that I would get yelled at over something stupid, I just hopped it would be a long way off. The day came sooner than I ever would have thought.
I came in to work that morning dragging my feet as always. I was honestly starting to dread coming into work. I still hadn't made any friends other than Sarah, and that for the most part just felt like it was something out of convince rather than a true friendship. I was starting to feel really down on myself as I am normally I very social person. I knew right away that something was up. There was a new person sitting behind one of the desks in the service department, and boy of boy did she ever look angry.
"Hello. My name is Ronda and I am the new customer relations manager. You must be Josie."
"Nothing gets by you eh?" My joke must have hit a nerve as immediately her face scrunched up in distaste.
"I see they weren't lying about your sense of humor." She snapped at me.
"Well someone needs to try lighten it up around here." And with that I walked back into the shop.
I was organizing and trying to plan out my day when my phone chimed. I looked down and saw a text from Sarah.
"I'm gonna be late today, Kevin is running a fever."
I put my phone in my pocket and went about my morning. Before long it was coffee break and the saleswoman at our branch approached me and asked me to come sit with her and Ronda. I was apprehensive but figured I should try to be social and pleasant.
As we all sat down at Glenda's desk we actually had a good conversation. We talked about the upcoming meteor shower and I quickly discovered that Glenda and Ronda were old friends. Our break was going by quickly.
Just as we were finishing up my phone beeped again with another text message. I went to look at it and next thing I knew Ken our only other sales person comes fly over screaming at me to get off my phone. I saw out of the corner of my eye Ronda give Glenda a weird look.
I have this thing were when people yell at me I just block them out. I stand there and take it. I can't remember exactly what Ken said to me but I remember lots of screaming. Ronda eventually stepped in and told him to stop. When everyone as done screaming I just turned and walked away. I went the rest of the day working solo before our finance manager came to speak with me.
"Josie, I just wanted to talk to you about what happened with Ken. I know we don't have a branch manager at the moment but I have reported his behavior to the owners. I am not sure why he went off on you while you were on your break, but it was inappropriate and I am fully expecting him to apologize to you."
"You and I both know I will never get an apology from him. He has never apologized to anyone else he has screamed at here. I don't expect it to change now. I am just going to avoid him from now on. If he needs me to do something on a unit for him from now on he can use the correct channels."
"I hope the owners find us a manager soon. Everyone has been ignoring policy and been very rude to each other over the last three weeks. It has been a terrible environment for you to have started in. I wouldn't blame you if you quit, but keep in mind everyone here but Ken really likes you and you are doing a great job."
"Thanks, well I am going to go home now. See ya later."
I got into my Jeep and drove to the Boston Pizza down the road where I had the bartender pour me a strong drink.
Saturday 19 November 2016
Friday 4 November 2016
Heartbreaks
Hey guys as a heads up I am not sure if I will be posting much in the next little bit. My doctor has diagnosed me something not so great and I am having a hard time coming to terms with it. It also isn't helping that my work is making it even more difficult for me to get better by blaming me for how I am feeling. I am really trying to take some time off everything. Writing everything out has been great for me, but it has also made me relive some terrible things, that I will eventually get to in my writing I promise. I for sure won't be posting next week, but hopefully I will have some of my posts I already have written edited and ready to go for the following week. I hope you all have a great weekend!
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The night ended uneventfully, well if Cary leaving with Les is uneventful. Our truck ride home was very quiet too. I had a lot of time to think and thinking was never a good thing for me. I started reflecting on the last year and a half.
The day after Jeremy and I had broken up was hard. I went into work and tried to act like everything was normal. When the barn phone rang I was tempted to not answer, but I knew then my boss would know something was wrong.
"Good Morning Josie."
"Morning Charles, what do I owe the phone call."
" I saw you were down there early today. Just checking in."
"The roads were great so I got here quicker than I thought."
"Okay. Well have a good day!"
With that I decided to stop doing office duties and work one of the horses.Working with the horses always kept me grounded. Their smell, easy breathing and willingness always brought me such joy. Just as I was slipping a bridle onto Tea I heard the barn door creak open and in walked Charles.
"Okay Josie you can't lie to me, something is up. You were here early, and you have all the stalls done already and your going for a ride. What is going on?"
"It's nothing, I just have more energy than usual." I sighed as I walked Tea towards the arena.
"It has to do with Jeremy doesn't it?"
"It may but I am not ready to talk about it."
"You guys broke up again didn't you? I'm sure in a day or two he will come crawling back as always."
"I don't think so this time Charles. It feels a little more permanent this time."
"Well if that's the case maybe now when your mom comes back from visiting your sister you will finally take me up on the offer to live here in the barn. I know a big part of you turning it down before was because you didn't want to live further away from Jeremy. "
"You know what I should. Maybe moving up here would be better for me. Plus I can ride the girls more. Once my mom is back in a couple months I'll move up here."
"I'll find a contractor to renovate the loft for you. But chin up I know you'll be okay."
I put my foot in the stirrup and swung my leg over Teas back and started putting her thru her paces. After an hour I looked over to see Charles had Maxim saddled up.
"You want me to ride her next? Because if so you'll have to swap saddles out."
"Lets go for a trail ride, It has been far to long since I have been in the saddle."
"Alright then."
I could help but think I was so lucky to have a boss that genuinely cared about me and even saw me as an extended family member. Soon it was time for me to go to my other job. I went and used the shower in the loft to get rid of the horse smell and changed into business clothes.
As I walked in I hear my name being screamed from across the store.
"Jos! Jos!" Sasha screamed. " I am so sorry, I heard what happened already. If you need anything just let me know."
"How did the news even get out?"
"Come on Jos, we live in a tiny ass town and we all went to school together. News like this travels faster than anyone wants it to."
"I guess so. Let's just pretend everything is fine okay?"
"Okay! But I'm just saying you were too good for that jackass anyways."
It was from that moment on I had to start pretending I was okay. Tonight was a night that made it hard to pretend. Seeing anothers relationship spiraling downward triggered a memory that I was sure was going to lead to more dreams.
Once I got home I walked thru the door and found my other bottle of whiskey. I made myself another drink and went to bed. I needed to make sure there were no dreams tonight.
Thursday 27 October 2016
Cheater Cheater
The drive to Hatters was filled with Sarah and Carly talking excitedly. I started getting a bad vibe from Carly as every so often she would give me dirty looks when she knew Sarah wasn't paying attention. I didn't think too much of it. I always seem to find someone everywhere I go that hates me before even talking to me. It actually is sort of sad that something like that has become acceptable in our society, although I tend to go with my gut feeling about people. Everything I just witnessed and everything in my gut was screaming that she wasn't a nice person.
Finally we arrived at the bar. I couldn't have been happier. I really needed another drink to be able to make it thru the rest of this night. We made our way in and checked our coats, I then made a beeline to the bar.
"You look like you could use something strong." The bartender said to me.
"Is it that obvious? If so give me a double rye and coke please. Oh and a shot of tequila."
"Oh man it's even rougher than I thought. Coming right up." He laughed.
I looked around while I was waiting to see that Sarah, Carly and Brian had managed to snag a table. Sarah was looking around, for me I was assuming, but I am very good at blending in at the bar. The bartender finally put my shot and drink in front of me. I grabbed the shot and downed it before he could even get the lime and salt ready for me.
"Thanks. Keep your lime for someone else." I said as I grabbed my rye and I paid him.
"Holy shit!" He stammered. "You sure?"
"Yea I'm sure." I laughed as I walked off.
"There you are!" Sarah shouted at me. "Well I guess by that drink in your hand I know where you were."
"Yea I needed another drink stat." I laughed. I was finally starting to feel my whiskey.
"Any one up for some shots?"Carly asked.
"Of course!" Sarah and I both said at the same time.
"Tequila?" I suggested.
"NO! What about some pornstars?" Sarah suggested.
"You guys get those, but I'll get tequila."
The waitress came and took our orders. I got myself another rye and coke as I knew I would need another to put up with Carly and Sarah right now. It didn't take long before the drinks and shots were placed in front of us.
"Happy Birthday Carly" Sarah shouted over the music as we clinked our shot glasses and downed them.
"Josie, how can you drink that shit?" Sarah asked me.
"It's good." I laughed. "You just need to learn to go hard with the go hards."
"I'll just stick to my vodka. I can't gain anymore weight."
I didn't even know what to say, luckily Carly distracted her with some meaningless small talk. I settled myself into my chair and started people creeping. Sarah and Carly eventually went off to dance, but I wasn't feeling it so I sat at the table with Brian and watched the people as they came and went from the bar. Soon after deciding they were going dancing Sarah and Carly came back to the table.
"Lets go to Crossroads. Carly wants to meet up with Les." With that we collected our things paid our bills and headed off to the next bar.
Crossroads was definitely my kind of place. There was country music and a very rustic feel to the place. Country bars always make me happy, they are always a whiskey drinkin' hell raisin' good time. One thing I noticed right away was that everyone was two-stepping. This was not something that they did back home. In Ontario you see a lot of foot stomping over two-stepping.
We all made our way to the bar, together this time. I ordered my rye and coke but no shot this time. I figured I should slow down a little, I was sure the bottle of whiskey I had already drank was going to catch up to me soon. We made our way around, which was difficult to do as this place was packed. We finally found an area along the dance floor that seemed to be a decent place for us all to stop. Pretty much as soon as we stopped a guy who I assumed was Les came over to our group. Without even saying anything he took Carly away to go dance.
"Josie, do you know how to two-step?" Sarah asked me.
"Nope, only the older people back home dance like this." I said as I stirred the ice that was left in my cup.
"Well here let me teach you!"
It turns out that learning to two-step is easy and surprisingly is really fun! Before I knew it Brian came over and went off dancing with Sarah and some random guy started dancing with me. I never actually got the guys name but he taught me spins and a little bit of fancy footwork. I was having a blast! The dance floor started getting crammed as more and more people made their way to it. We had to start being more careful and watching out for the other dancers. Eventually the nameless guy asked me if I wanted a drink. In general I never do say no, so again I found myself making my way to the bar. I managed to get the same bartender so I didn't even need to tell him what to make me.
"What is it he is making you?" Nameless asked.
"Double rye and coke."
"Damn, well I guess I'll have the same."
He went to pull out money to pay for both but I gave money for mine to the bar tender.
"Hey now let me pay." Nameless said.
"Naw if you don't mind I'll just buy my own."
"Alrighty then."
Nameless tried to make conversation with me, but in all honesty it was so boring I found myself people creeping. Most of the conversation seemed to flow around how much money he makes, which I found extremely conceited. Finally Sarah and Brian came up to me and I had an excuse to get out of the conversation.
"Josie, come to the bathroom with me." Sarah said as she was already walking that way.
"Sure I guess."
"So Carly said to me that you were shit talking her to Jason."
"Who the fuck is Jason?" I asked, I figured he was the boyfriend but I needed to make sure.
"Carly's boyfriend. She said she over heard you guys talking shit about her."
"Oh god. I should have never talked to him. I honestly didn't even listen to half of what he said he was rambling on and on. He started complaining about his relationship, which made me really uncomfortable and I kept saying to him 'You can't help who you love' . He wouldn't stop talking." I explained as I leaned against the sink.
"Is that why you looked so uncomfortable?"
"Well yea."
"I'm not overly surprised. He does that to everyone, and he is always complaining about his relationship with her. I think Carly is getting ready to leave him. But as of right now she hates you because she thinks you were the one shit talking."
"Well if she wants to think that, then go ahead. It doesn't hurt my feelings any." I started walking out the door to go back to get another drink. I desperately needed one now.
As we walked out I stopped dead in my tracks and looked back at Sarah. Right in front of us was Carly, with her tongue shoved all the way down Les' throat.
"Well, I guess you were right about her wanting to break things off." I said and walked directly to the bar for another round.
Finally we arrived at the bar. I couldn't have been happier. I really needed another drink to be able to make it thru the rest of this night. We made our way in and checked our coats, I then made a beeline to the bar.
"You look like you could use something strong." The bartender said to me.
"Is it that obvious? If so give me a double rye and coke please. Oh and a shot of tequila."
"Oh man it's even rougher than I thought. Coming right up." He laughed.
I looked around while I was waiting to see that Sarah, Carly and Brian had managed to snag a table. Sarah was looking around, for me I was assuming, but I am very good at blending in at the bar. The bartender finally put my shot and drink in front of me. I grabbed the shot and downed it before he could even get the lime and salt ready for me.
"Thanks. Keep your lime for someone else." I said as I grabbed my rye and I paid him.
"Holy shit!" He stammered. "You sure?"
"Yea I'm sure." I laughed as I walked off.
"There you are!" Sarah shouted at me. "Well I guess by that drink in your hand I know where you were."
"Yea I needed another drink stat." I laughed. I was finally starting to feel my whiskey.
"Any one up for some shots?"Carly asked.
"Of course!" Sarah and I both said at the same time.
"Tequila?" I suggested.
"NO! What about some pornstars?" Sarah suggested.
"You guys get those, but I'll get tequila."
The waitress came and took our orders. I got myself another rye and coke as I knew I would need another to put up with Carly and Sarah right now. It didn't take long before the drinks and shots were placed in front of us.
"Happy Birthday Carly" Sarah shouted over the music as we clinked our shot glasses and downed them.
"Josie, how can you drink that shit?" Sarah asked me.
"It's good." I laughed. "You just need to learn to go hard with the go hards."
"I'll just stick to my vodka. I can't gain anymore weight."
I didn't even know what to say, luckily Carly distracted her with some meaningless small talk. I settled myself into my chair and started people creeping. Sarah and Carly eventually went off to dance, but I wasn't feeling it so I sat at the table with Brian and watched the people as they came and went from the bar. Soon after deciding they were going dancing Sarah and Carly came back to the table.
"Lets go to Crossroads. Carly wants to meet up with Les." With that we collected our things paid our bills and headed off to the next bar.
Crossroads was definitely my kind of place. There was country music and a very rustic feel to the place. Country bars always make me happy, they are always a whiskey drinkin' hell raisin' good time. One thing I noticed right away was that everyone was two-stepping. This was not something that they did back home. In Ontario you see a lot of foot stomping over two-stepping.
We all made our way to the bar, together this time. I ordered my rye and coke but no shot this time. I figured I should slow down a little, I was sure the bottle of whiskey I had already drank was going to catch up to me soon. We made our way around, which was difficult to do as this place was packed. We finally found an area along the dance floor that seemed to be a decent place for us all to stop. Pretty much as soon as we stopped a guy who I assumed was Les came over to our group. Without even saying anything he took Carly away to go dance.
"Josie, do you know how to two-step?" Sarah asked me.
"Nope, only the older people back home dance like this." I said as I stirred the ice that was left in my cup.
"Well here let me teach you!"
It turns out that learning to two-step is easy and surprisingly is really fun! Before I knew it Brian came over and went off dancing with Sarah and some random guy started dancing with me. I never actually got the guys name but he taught me spins and a little bit of fancy footwork. I was having a blast! The dance floor started getting crammed as more and more people made their way to it. We had to start being more careful and watching out for the other dancers. Eventually the nameless guy asked me if I wanted a drink. In general I never do say no, so again I found myself making my way to the bar. I managed to get the same bartender so I didn't even need to tell him what to make me.
"What is it he is making you?" Nameless asked.
"Double rye and coke."
"Damn, well I guess I'll have the same."
He went to pull out money to pay for both but I gave money for mine to the bar tender.
"Hey now let me pay." Nameless said.
"Naw if you don't mind I'll just buy my own."
"Alrighty then."
Nameless tried to make conversation with me, but in all honesty it was so boring I found myself people creeping. Most of the conversation seemed to flow around how much money he makes, which I found extremely conceited. Finally Sarah and Brian came up to me and I had an excuse to get out of the conversation.
"Josie, come to the bathroom with me." Sarah said as she was already walking that way.
"Sure I guess."
"So Carly said to me that you were shit talking her to Jason."
"Who the fuck is Jason?" I asked, I figured he was the boyfriend but I needed to make sure.
"Carly's boyfriend. She said she over heard you guys talking shit about her."
"Oh god. I should have never talked to him. I honestly didn't even listen to half of what he said he was rambling on and on. He started complaining about his relationship, which made me really uncomfortable and I kept saying to him 'You can't help who you love' . He wouldn't stop talking." I explained as I leaned against the sink.
"Is that why you looked so uncomfortable?"
"Well yea."
"I'm not overly surprised. He does that to everyone, and he is always complaining about his relationship with her. I think Carly is getting ready to leave him. But as of right now she hates you because she thinks you were the one shit talking."
"Well if she wants to think that, then go ahead. It doesn't hurt my feelings any." I started walking out the door to go back to get another drink. I desperately needed one now.
As we walked out I stopped dead in my tracks and looked back at Sarah. Right in front of us was Carly, with her tongue shoved all the way down Les' throat.
"Well, I guess you were right about her wanting to break things off." I said and walked directly to the bar for another round.
Monday 24 October 2016
How to Party in the Oilfield
I took my time getting ready, I wasn't sure what exactly I should wear. My research on the bar we were going to told me it was more of a live music type place, and to be honest I've always been a t shirt and jeans kind of girl. I finally settled on the only fancy tank top I owned and jeans, which if we are being honest the top came from Garage so really it wasn't fancy at all.
Doing my hair and makeup was a whole other feat. I'm not the type of person that usually wears make up, I also have naturally curly hair so it only gets brushed right before I wash it or before I straighten it. Tonight I decided to straighten my hair and I attempted to do a smokey eye. I am honestly the worst when it comes to makeup. My parents had always wanted a boy and I was supposed to be one so I was raised to be as such. It wasn't until last year for my birthday I had suddenly decided I wanted to learn. I had the lady at Shoppers teach me how to do my make up and pick out everything for me. I am still a total and complete fail at doing it but at least I'm trying!
After hours of getting ready and poking myself in the eye a dozen times I was finally ready just in time for Sarah and her boyfriend to barge in and drag me out. I guess I should mention Sarah's boyfriend is my roommates grandson, so them just coming over was a normal thing I guess. We walked out and I immediately knew Brian was part of the small dick club. His truck was lifted so high I needed a boost to get in. I knew of some people who had mud trucks this high, but not their daily driver. Luckily I had my phone to look at and was able to pretend I was laughing at something on there rather than the truck, but I think Sarah knew the smirk on her face sort of gave it away.
We didn't talk on the drive to Sarah's friends house, the loud blaring country music made it impossible to. When we pulled up to the house it wasn't what I was expecting. Carly's house was a trailer on the tiniest lot I had ever seen. The street was lined with more small penis club trucks and spots cars.
"Are all these people here for Carly's birthday?" I asked in shock.
"They sure are! You better have your party pants on tonight Josie!" Sarah yelled at me. She was already buzzin' pretty good.
As we walking into the house I was in for yet another shock. Inside was a haze of smoke. The smoke a mixture of cigarettes and weed. I took a quick look around and saw what I assumed was cocaine on the coffee table and someone smoking while they breast fed a small baby. I could not believe what I had just walked into. I was immediately introduced to people who's names I forgot instantly. My shock was just too overwhelming. I should have just gone home but I honestly didn't know how to get home or what my address was for a cab to come get me, so I was stuck. I sat down in the chair furthest from everything and started drinking my whiskey straight out of the bottle. I needed to get really drunk to be able to handle this mess.
After a while of sitting there by myself a guy in a wheel chair came up to me and started talking to me. He was so incoherent it took me a while to figure out exactly what he was saying.
"Yes I just moved here." I tried to keep my answer to his question short in hopes of him leaving me alone.
"How do you like it?" He slurred
"Fine."
"I'm Carly's boyfriend, I'm not normally in a wheel chair but I broke both heels."
Apparently that was all he needed to start rambling about how exactly he hurt himself. I honestly didn't even listen. All I wanted to do was get drunk and go home. As he rambled on I started people watching. The more I watched the more stunned I became. I witnessed the breast feeding woman smoking more pot, doing shots and lines of what I had now concluded was for sure cocaine. I had never imagined myself at a place like this. I knew people did these sort of things but I wanted to believe so badly that it never ever did. I eventually realized that Carly's boyfriend was asking me a question that required an answer.
"Sorry can you repeat that. I got a little bit lost in thought."
"It's okay it wasn't important anyways. I am used to people not listening to me. Sometimes I don't think Carly even listens to me most days, but I love her you know."
From there he proceeded to tell me all the terrible details of his relationship with Carly. This was by far the most awkward situation I had found myself in. I was trying to find any possible way to get out of it. I took a terrible route and every time there was a break in the conversation where I was expected to say something all I could say is "You can't help who you love." Eventually Sarah must have noticed how uncomfortable I was feeling and told me we were going to the bar now. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Turns out there was only four of us going out.
I watched as the lady with the baby hopped into a truck with her very high and drunk boyfriend so that they could go home to put their baby to bed. I should have done something to stop it but never in my life had I been in this situation, I felt like I was in a terrible terrible nightmare. Everyone was acting as if this was normal behavior, but in reality it was absolutely horrendous. I took another swig of my whiskey to realize I was out, going to the bar had come at the best possible time.
Doing my hair and makeup was a whole other feat. I'm not the type of person that usually wears make up, I also have naturally curly hair so it only gets brushed right before I wash it or before I straighten it. Tonight I decided to straighten my hair and I attempted to do a smokey eye. I am honestly the worst when it comes to makeup. My parents had always wanted a boy and I was supposed to be one so I was raised to be as such. It wasn't until last year for my birthday I had suddenly decided I wanted to learn. I had the lady at Shoppers teach me how to do my make up and pick out everything for me. I am still a total and complete fail at doing it but at least I'm trying!
After hours of getting ready and poking myself in the eye a dozen times I was finally ready just in time for Sarah and her boyfriend to barge in and drag me out. I guess I should mention Sarah's boyfriend is my roommates grandson, so them just coming over was a normal thing I guess. We walked out and I immediately knew Brian was part of the small dick club. His truck was lifted so high I needed a boost to get in. I knew of some people who had mud trucks this high, but not their daily driver. Luckily I had my phone to look at and was able to pretend I was laughing at something on there rather than the truck, but I think Sarah knew the smirk on her face sort of gave it away.
We didn't talk on the drive to Sarah's friends house, the loud blaring country music made it impossible to. When we pulled up to the house it wasn't what I was expecting. Carly's house was a trailer on the tiniest lot I had ever seen. The street was lined with more small penis club trucks and spots cars.
"Are all these people here for Carly's birthday?" I asked in shock.
"They sure are! You better have your party pants on tonight Josie!" Sarah yelled at me. She was already buzzin' pretty good.
As we walking into the house I was in for yet another shock. Inside was a haze of smoke. The smoke a mixture of cigarettes and weed. I took a quick look around and saw what I assumed was cocaine on the coffee table and someone smoking while they breast fed a small baby. I could not believe what I had just walked into. I was immediately introduced to people who's names I forgot instantly. My shock was just too overwhelming. I should have just gone home but I honestly didn't know how to get home or what my address was for a cab to come get me, so I was stuck. I sat down in the chair furthest from everything and started drinking my whiskey straight out of the bottle. I needed to get really drunk to be able to handle this mess.
After a while of sitting there by myself a guy in a wheel chair came up to me and started talking to me. He was so incoherent it took me a while to figure out exactly what he was saying.
"Yes I just moved here." I tried to keep my answer to his question short in hopes of him leaving me alone.
"How do you like it?" He slurred
"Fine."
"I'm Carly's boyfriend, I'm not normally in a wheel chair but I broke both heels."
Apparently that was all he needed to start rambling about how exactly he hurt himself. I honestly didn't even listen. All I wanted to do was get drunk and go home. As he rambled on I started people watching. The more I watched the more stunned I became. I witnessed the breast feeding woman smoking more pot, doing shots and lines of what I had now concluded was for sure cocaine. I had never imagined myself at a place like this. I knew people did these sort of things but I wanted to believe so badly that it never ever did. I eventually realized that Carly's boyfriend was asking me a question that required an answer.
"Sorry can you repeat that. I got a little bit lost in thought."
"It's okay it wasn't important anyways. I am used to people not listening to me. Sometimes I don't think Carly even listens to me most days, but I love her you know."
From there he proceeded to tell me all the terrible details of his relationship with Carly. This was by far the most awkward situation I had found myself in. I was trying to find any possible way to get out of it. I took a terrible route and every time there was a break in the conversation where I was expected to say something all I could say is "You can't help who you love." Eventually Sarah must have noticed how uncomfortable I was feeling and told me we were going to the bar now. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Turns out there was only four of us going out.
I watched as the lady with the baby hopped into a truck with her very high and drunk boyfriend so that they could go home to put their baby to bed. I should have done something to stop it but never in my life had I been in this situation, I felt like I was in a terrible terrible nightmare. Everyone was acting as if this was normal behavior, but in reality it was absolutely horrendous. I took another swig of my whiskey to realize I was out, going to the bar had come at the best possible time.
Saturday 8 October 2016
First Days
After spending my weekend feeling sorry for myself and wishing I had just stayed in Ontario, it was finally time to start my new job. I was hoping that it would help to change my opinion of my new city. If only I had known what it had in store for me.
I walked into my new work place I felt very on edge. I attributed it to first day jitters, but really a shit storm was headed my way on my very first day. Although the doors were open I saw no one around. I wandered the building until I finally found my roommates family member, Randi, who had gotten me the job.
"Josie, nice to see you finally made it." Randi shouted at me from across the shop
"Yea, I got here a few days ago. Is there anyone else here yet?"
"No not yet. A few more people should be showing up soon though."
"Okay, cool beans."
"Oh just so you know our manager quit last week, so for the time being things are just sort of in the air with who is in charge. Oh look here is Sarah, she is who you will be working directly with."
Sarah was not what I was expecting. Sarah was dark haired, blue eyed and so skinny that she looked like she was going to blow away at any moment. She had so much makeup layered on that I wondered if she even knew what she really looked like under it all. Her resting bitch face was so on point that I don't think anyone would ever approach her, and the cigarette hanging out of her mouth just added to the bitchy vibe I was getting.
"Sarah this is Josie, Josie this is Sarah."
"Hey." I said. I couldn't say anymore without fear of her ripping my head off.
"Hey, lets get this shit show started." And with that we headed off so she could show me what my job was.
The first few hours were boring repetitive things, and neither of us said anything for the longest time. Finally Sarah piped up and sated she was putting on music.
"What sort of music do you listen to? I mostly listen to country so I hope you're ok with that."
" I listen to a lot of different music , but primarily country so you're good."
"Perfect."
The music brought a welcome relief to the awkward silence we had going on. We continued to work and I tried to mostly stay out of the way and figure out the routine that Sarah had. Before I knew it lunch had rolled around. I was introduced to more people and the techs, who I would also be working closely with. A few of the techs were also from the same area of Ontario I was from so we quickly got talking about home and all of our favorite things from there.
"So Josie, what made you move all the way out here?" Max , one of the techs,asked me.
"Well I needed a change, and I have always wanted to live in Alberta so I finally decided now was the time." The lie fell so easily off my lips. It wasn't totally untrue, I have always wanted to live in Alberta, but I was really trying hard to forget everything that could have been.
"I guess that's why we all make our way out here. Sarah here is the only person I know that is actually from here."
"Not true, my parents just moved here when I was young. I'm actually from BC." Sarah piped up finally.
"Well you have been here long enough to say you are from here."
"I guess if that's the way you see it. I'm going for a smoke."
With that everyone left to have a quick smoke before we all went back to work. This left me alone in the lunch room for a bit. I welcomed the few moments I had to myself, being around people for this many hours in a day was weird for me as I had mostly worked alone before.
It wasn't long once we started back at work that the fight broke out. Chris and Randi were in a full on screaming match. I tried hard not to pay attention and just keep my head down. But next thing I knew something was thrown across the shop.
"Lets go out for a smoke." Sarah said
"Sounds like a good plan to me right now."
We hurriedly made our way out back and sat down in the chairs.
"So does this happen all the time?"
"Oh fuck yea it does. This is nothing compared to some of the shit that goes on here. You'll get used to it soon enough."
"Oh boy."
"You got that right. I wouldn't blame you if you quit already. This place wears on the nerves eventually. But you seem pretty chill so I'd rather you stick it out."
" I guess I'll see what the week brings."
Luckily the rest of the week went by without anymore screaming matches... Well at least none that I heard. I was settling in and Sarah and I actually seemed like we were becoming friends. We had most of the same interests and once you got past her standoffish attitude she was actually nice. It also turned out she lived a couple houses down from me, but I was still sort of surprised when on Friday night as we were cleaning up to leave she asked me to come out for her friends birthday the next night.
"Here give me your phone and I'll give you my number. I'll text you what time to be ready. Carly isn't a country girl so we will probably be going to Hatters. So don't dress too countrish." With that she laughed and headed off.
I walked into my new work place I felt very on edge. I attributed it to first day jitters, but really a shit storm was headed my way on my very first day. Although the doors were open I saw no one around. I wandered the building until I finally found my roommates family member, Randi, who had gotten me the job.
"Josie, nice to see you finally made it." Randi shouted at me from across the shop
"Yea, I got here a few days ago. Is there anyone else here yet?"
"No not yet. A few more people should be showing up soon though."
"Okay, cool beans."
"Oh just so you know our manager quit last week, so for the time being things are just sort of in the air with who is in charge. Oh look here is Sarah, she is who you will be working directly with."
Sarah was not what I was expecting. Sarah was dark haired, blue eyed and so skinny that she looked like she was going to blow away at any moment. She had so much makeup layered on that I wondered if she even knew what she really looked like under it all. Her resting bitch face was so on point that I don't think anyone would ever approach her, and the cigarette hanging out of her mouth just added to the bitchy vibe I was getting.
"Sarah this is Josie, Josie this is Sarah."
"Hey." I said. I couldn't say anymore without fear of her ripping my head off.
"Hey, lets get this shit show started." And with that we headed off so she could show me what my job was.
The first few hours were boring repetitive things, and neither of us said anything for the longest time. Finally Sarah piped up and sated she was putting on music.
"What sort of music do you listen to? I mostly listen to country so I hope you're ok with that."
" I listen to a lot of different music , but primarily country so you're good."
"Perfect."
The music brought a welcome relief to the awkward silence we had going on. We continued to work and I tried to mostly stay out of the way and figure out the routine that Sarah had. Before I knew it lunch had rolled around. I was introduced to more people and the techs, who I would also be working closely with. A few of the techs were also from the same area of Ontario I was from so we quickly got talking about home and all of our favorite things from there.
"So Josie, what made you move all the way out here?" Max , one of the techs,asked me.
"Well I needed a change, and I have always wanted to live in Alberta so I finally decided now was the time." The lie fell so easily off my lips. It wasn't totally untrue, I have always wanted to live in Alberta, but I was really trying hard to forget everything that could have been.
"I guess that's why we all make our way out here. Sarah here is the only person I know that is actually from here."
"Not true, my parents just moved here when I was young. I'm actually from BC." Sarah piped up finally.
"Well you have been here long enough to say you are from here."
"I guess if that's the way you see it. I'm going for a smoke."
With that everyone left to have a quick smoke before we all went back to work. This left me alone in the lunch room for a bit. I welcomed the few moments I had to myself, being around people for this many hours in a day was weird for me as I had mostly worked alone before.
It wasn't long once we started back at work that the fight broke out. Chris and Randi were in a full on screaming match. I tried hard not to pay attention and just keep my head down. But next thing I knew something was thrown across the shop.
"Lets go out for a smoke." Sarah said
"Sounds like a good plan to me right now."
We hurriedly made our way out back and sat down in the chairs.
"So does this happen all the time?"
"Oh fuck yea it does. This is nothing compared to some of the shit that goes on here. You'll get used to it soon enough."
"Oh boy."
"You got that right. I wouldn't blame you if you quit already. This place wears on the nerves eventually. But you seem pretty chill so I'd rather you stick it out."
" I guess I'll see what the week brings."
Luckily the rest of the week went by without anymore screaming matches... Well at least none that I heard. I was settling in and Sarah and I actually seemed like we were becoming friends. We had most of the same interests and once you got past her standoffish attitude she was actually nice. It also turned out she lived a couple houses down from me, but I was still sort of surprised when on Friday night as we were cleaning up to leave she asked me to come out for her friends birthday the next night.
"Here give me your phone and I'll give you my number. I'll text you what time to be ready. Carly isn't a country girl so we will probably be going to Hatters. So don't dress too countrish." With that she laughed and headed off.
Monday 26 September 2016
Unpacking
When I finally arrived at my destination it was late. So late that I didn't even take any of my belongings out of my Jeep. If any of you know anything about oilfield towns you would know this was a terrible idea. It was just so late when I pulled up to my new house that all I could think of was food and sleep. So when Ed met me at the door and showed me to my room all I did was fall into bed and sleep. It wasn't long before the dream started...
"Josie, I can't do this anymore. I really just think it's best that we go back to being just friends."
I pulled the car over at that moment in shock. " Jeremy did you just say what I think you said?"
"Yea Jos, I did."
"Okay then. I'm going to go."
I sat there for a while watching as the snow fell down around me. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I didn't even know how to comprehend my feelings. It wasn't until Sean piped up that I realized that I had been just sitting there for a while.
"Jos? Are you ok? What just happened?"
"Jer and I just broke up I think.."
"Again? Is it for real this time?"
" I think so. I guess I'll find out." And with that I put my car in drive and continued the drive home. Getting home was now the biggest priority I had.
"Jos, I'm sorry you know."
"For what Sean?"
"For how bad things always happen to you on this day."
"It's okay. I knew something big was going to happen today. Your mom's birthday is just a bad day for me."
The drive felt like forever. Sean didn't say anything else and neither did I. I dropped him off and continued the couple minutes drive to my house. Sasha could tell something was up and so did Fred as they both wouldn't leave me alone as soon as I got into the house.
"It's okay babes, lets just go to bed. It's just us now."
Just as a was about to climb into bed my phone went off. I saw it was Jeremy and I already knew in my gut I wasn't going to like what I saw.
"I'm sorry Jos. You and I both know this is for the best."
As I pulled the ring off I couldn't keep myself together anymore. I slid to the floor and let the tears flow freely. Sasha tried licking away my tears but eventually just curled her furry body up beside me and eventually Fred joined us. I hated that I let Jer in. I just felt like I was breaking.
I woke up with a start and checked the clock. It was early, really early. My body clock was still a few time zones east, but really I knew the dream is what caused me to be up early. My dreams lately alternated between the bad and the disgustingly good things that happened during my four year relationship with Jer, but this was the first time in a long time I had a dream about our breakup. The dreams always left me shook up and anxious for the day. As much as I wanted to stay in bed I knew I had things to do. I started my job in twenty four hours and needed to be prepared.
As I walked out to my jeep I immediately noticed something was wrong. Someone had tried to break in, fortunately unsuccessfully. With that I learnt my first lesson in my new city, never leave anything in your car unattended I had gotten lucky this time. Unloading took longer than I thought thanks to the fresh snow, but I was determined to get it done. Throughout unloading I quickly learnt lesson number two about an living in an oilfield town, no one will help you with anything. My new roommate sat in the couch and watched me struggle for hours lugging my belongings in. Being someone that always steps in to help I was a little confused and angry that he didn't even offer up help. The next problem that presented it's self was that my room was so tiny that most of my belongings needed to stay in boxes stacked in my room. I had a trail to my closet my bed and the door when I was finally done. I knew I was going to need to search for a new place quickly.
With my unpacking complete I decided to go for a drive and see what this town had to offer. Although I had done research on it prior to moving it didn't prepare me for anything I saw. There was litter everywhere, the city just looked dirty and sad. The more I drove around the more I was starting to think I made a mistake. The nerves from my dream weren't helping either. I tried to push the feelings down, but nothing made the feeling go away.
"Josie, I can't do this anymore. I really just think it's best that we go back to being just friends."
I pulled the car over at that moment in shock. " Jeremy did you just say what I think you said?"
"Yea Jos, I did."
"Okay then. I'm going to go."
I sat there for a while watching as the snow fell down around me. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I didn't even know how to comprehend my feelings. It wasn't until Sean piped up that I realized that I had been just sitting there for a while.
"Jos? Are you ok? What just happened?"
"Jer and I just broke up I think.."
"Again? Is it for real this time?"
" I think so. I guess I'll find out." And with that I put my car in drive and continued the drive home. Getting home was now the biggest priority I had.
"Jos, I'm sorry you know."
"For what Sean?"
"For how bad things always happen to you on this day."
"It's okay. I knew something big was going to happen today. Your mom's birthday is just a bad day for me."
The drive felt like forever. Sean didn't say anything else and neither did I. I dropped him off and continued the couple minutes drive to my house. Sasha could tell something was up and so did Fred as they both wouldn't leave me alone as soon as I got into the house.
"It's okay babes, lets just go to bed. It's just us now."
Just as a was about to climb into bed my phone went off. I saw it was Jeremy and I already knew in my gut I wasn't going to like what I saw.
"I'm sorry Jos. You and I both know this is for the best."
As I pulled the ring off I couldn't keep myself together anymore. I slid to the floor and let the tears flow freely. Sasha tried licking away my tears but eventually just curled her furry body up beside me and eventually Fred joined us. I hated that I let Jer in. I just felt like I was breaking.
I woke up with a start and checked the clock. It was early, really early. My body clock was still a few time zones east, but really I knew the dream is what caused me to be up early. My dreams lately alternated between the bad and the disgustingly good things that happened during my four year relationship with Jer, but this was the first time in a long time I had a dream about our breakup. The dreams always left me shook up and anxious for the day. As much as I wanted to stay in bed I knew I had things to do. I started my job in twenty four hours and needed to be prepared.
As I walked out to my jeep I immediately noticed something was wrong. Someone had tried to break in, fortunately unsuccessfully. With that I learnt my first lesson in my new city, never leave anything in your car unattended I had gotten lucky this time. Unloading took longer than I thought thanks to the fresh snow, but I was determined to get it done. Throughout unloading I quickly learnt lesson number two about an living in an oilfield town, no one will help you with anything. My new roommate sat in the couch and watched me struggle for hours lugging my belongings in. Being someone that always steps in to help I was a little confused and angry that he didn't even offer up help. The next problem that presented it's self was that my room was so tiny that most of my belongings needed to stay in boxes stacked in my room. I had a trail to my closet my bed and the door when I was finally done. I knew I was going to need to search for a new place quickly.
With my unpacking complete I decided to go for a drive and see what this town had to offer. Although I had done research on it prior to moving it didn't prepare me for anything I saw. There was litter everywhere, the city just looked dirty and sad. The more I drove around the more I was starting to think I made a mistake. The nerves from my dream weren't helping either. I tried to push the feelings down, but nothing made the feeling go away.
Sunday 25 September 2016
Sorry!!!
I have posts done I just had no time to edit lately!!! I bought a new equine partner who needs a lot of work and was forced to euthanize my other as his injuries were too severe. So I haven't felt motivated to edit to be totally honest. My work schedule has gotten crazier than I thought too, I'm working seven days a week. I'll have a post up first thing tomorrow! Hopefully another late this week as well to make up for my lack of posting.
Sorry again! And I hope everyone is having a great weekend.
Sorry again! And I hope everyone is having a great weekend.
Wednesday 10 August 2016
Snowstorms
I woke up the next morning to snow, a lot of snow. I am actually one of those weird people weird people that loves snow. I love looking out and seeing how pure and white it is. One of my favorite things to do in the winter is curl up by a window with some hot chocolate a good book and watch it fall. All the best parts of movies happen while the snow is falling, which is probably why I get this magical feeling every time I see it falling. I have this dream that one day I will have a team of Clydesdale horses that will pull my sleigh to get my Christmas tree, so far it's still just a dream.
Today I hated the snow. If there is one thing I can tell you about Saskatchewan is that it's really flat, not every where but mostly it's FLAT. With the fresh snow everything looked the same. I couldn't tell where the road was and fields started. As far as I could tell there was no rhyme or reason to the path's made by other people tires. GPS probably would have helped me at this point, or maybe even cell service so that I could use Siri or google maps. As I made my way down the stairs I had decided that I would wait for the plow to go by and then be on my way.
"Josie dear." Aunt Ruth hollered at me from the kitchen. "How would you like your eggs?"
"Aunt Ruth, you didn't need to make me breakfast." I strolled into the kitchen and sat myself at the table. "But since you're already cooking, can I have scrambled eggs please?"
"I figured you would ask for scrambled eggs. I was starting to worry about you when you didn't come down right away."
"I saw the snow and figured there was no rush until the plows go by at least." I sighed. " I didn't think there was supposed to be this much snow when I checked the weather last night."
"Josie, you're in Saskatchewan never trust how much snow they say we are supposed to get." Aunt Ruth laughed as she set down a heaping plate of breakfast in front of me.
I'm not sure about everyone else families, but mine seems to think everyone is dying of starvation and that we require heaps of food to stay alive. My plate was overflowing with sausages, bacon, ham, fresh bread. eggs and hash browns.
"Aunt Ruth, there is no way I can eat all of this!"
"But Josie you're so skinny, you must eat." I am in no way as skinny as my aunt was saying. I had recently lost weight, but I was still on the chunky side. " I only put half what I'm giving Sam on your plate."
"He can take half of mine too!" I joked as he walked into the kitchen.
"Funny Josie, but really you should eat. I'm sure you haven't been eating well on your drive." Uncle piped up. " I also hear there was some table dancing last night."
"How have you heard about that already?!"
"News travels faster here than it does anywhere else. Plus having someone new in town speeds up the gossip train." Uncle chuckled. "I think you should stay another night. This snow isn't going to let up any time soon."
"I only have 10 hours of driving left to do. Even with a later start I can still make it there today."
"You're going to be waiting a long time before this snow settles down. It sounds like it is going to be sticking around for a while. You may as well stay tonight too."
It didn't really take much convincing to get me to stay. The opportunity to sleep was way to appealing. Also Aunt Ruth's cooking is fantastic. I took some pain killers and crawled right back into bed.
Next thing I knew I was being woke for dinner. I took a quick look out the window to see that unfortunately the weather had not changed. My hopes on leaving early in the morning were dwindling fairly quickly at this point. I hadn't factored in the weather keeping me stuck somewhere for a day or two. I started my new job in just a few days and I really needed to be on the road tomorrow or I wouldn't get a chance to unpack at all.
After dinner I went right back to bed. My injury was really bothering me, probably from all the table dancing (note to self to stay sitting from now on when I'm drinking). To my surprise when I awoke the next morning the sun was shining and the roads had been plowed! I was more than ready to get on the road and finish up the last stretch of my journey. I scarfed down breakfast quickly as I let my jeep warm up. After promising to come back to visit some time soon I got myself on the road. Before I knew it I was an hour from my destination and yet another storm settled in. I should have taken this as a sign of what was to come but instead I just kept driving into the white wall of snow just hoping to stay on the road.
Today I hated the snow. If there is one thing I can tell you about Saskatchewan is that it's really flat, not every where but mostly it's FLAT. With the fresh snow everything looked the same. I couldn't tell where the road was and fields started. As far as I could tell there was no rhyme or reason to the path's made by other people tires. GPS probably would have helped me at this point, or maybe even cell service so that I could use Siri or google maps. As I made my way down the stairs I had decided that I would wait for the plow to go by and then be on my way.
"Josie dear." Aunt Ruth hollered at me from the kitchen. "How would you like your eggs?"
"Aunt Ruth, you didn't need to make me breakfast." I strolled into the kitchen and sat myself at the table. "But since you're already cooking, can I have scrambled eggs please?"
"I figured you would ask for scrambled eggs. I was starting to worry about you when you didn't come down right away."
"I saw the snow and figured there was no rush until the plows go by at least." I sighed. " I didn't think there was supposed to be this much snow when I checked the weather last night."
"Josie, you're in Saskatchewan never trust how much snow they say we are supposed to get." Aunt Ruth laughed as she set down a heaping plate of breakfast in front of me.
I'm not sure about everyone else families, but mine seems to think everyone is dying of starvation and that we require heaps of food to stay alive. My plate was overflowing with sausages, bacon, ham, fresh bread. eggs and hash browns.
"Aunt Ruth, there is no way I can eat all of this!"
"But Josie you're so skinny, you must eat." I am in no way as skinny as my aunt was saying. I had recently lost weight, but I was still on the chunky side. " I only put half what I'm giving Sam on your plate."
"He can take half of mine too!" I joked as he walked into the kitchen.
"Funny Josie, but really you should eat. I'm sure you haven't been eating well on your drive." Uncle piped up. " I also hear there was some table dancing last night."
"How have you heard about that already?!"
"News travels faster here than it does anywhere else. Plus having someone new in town speeds up the gossip train." Uncle chuckled. "I think you should stay another night. This snow isn't going to let up any time soon."
"I only have 10 hours of driving left to do. Even with a later start I can still make it there today."
"You're going to be waiting a long time before this snow settles down. It sounds like it is going to be sticking around for a while. You may as well stay tonight too."
It didn't really take much convincing to get me to stay. The opportunity to sleep was way to appealing. Also Aunt Ruth's cooking is fantastic. I took some pain killers and crawled right back into bed.
Next thing I knew I was being woke for dinner. I took a quick look out the window to see that unfortunately the weather had not changed. My hopes on leaving early in the morning were dwindling fairly quickly at this point. I hadn't factored in the weather keeping me stuck somewhere for a day or two. I started my new job in just a few days and I really needed to be on the road tomorrow or I wouldn't get a chance to unpack at all.
After dinner I went right back to bed. My injury was really bothering me, probably from all the table dancing (note to self to stay sitting from now on when I'm drinking). To my surprise when I awoke the next morning the sun was shining and the roads had been plowed! I was more than ready to get on the road and finish up the last stretch of my journey. I scarfed down breakfast quickly as I let my jeep warm up. After promising to come back to visit some time soon I got myself on the road. Before I knew it I was an hour from my destination and yet another storm settled in. I should have taken this as a sign of what was to come but instead I just kept driving into the white wall of snow just hoping to stay on the road.
Tuesday 19 July 2016
Saskatchewan Part 2
This post isn't exactly how I wanted it, but I promised you guys. I had a slight emergency this morning (one of my cats is now at the vets with a possible broken leg, he thought he could fly this morning)so that is why the post is later than I had originally promised. Hopefully I can make it up to you guys with an awesome post later this week!
_________________________________________________________________________________
Tanner was shorter than I had expected. Everyone had talked him up so much I was expecting a tall extremely good looking hunk of man and I was sorely disappointed on the height factor. What I really mean is he is extremely short. I'm barely over 5' (OK lets face it I'm only 5') and he isn't much taller than me. Although I'm short I prefer my men over 6', I need to have someone around that can reach the stuff I can't. Tanner was a cocky asshole, again exactly my type. If you factored out the height issue he was hot. Light brown hair, muscular body, chiseled features and gorgeous blue eyes. If he had been taller I'd be drooling.
"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Sorry but no." I rolled my eyes and thought to myself- Here we go.
"Come on, why not?"
"I just prefer to buy my own drinks."
"Fine. Will you at least play a game of pool with me?"
"I'll whoop your ass in a round of pool."
Now I love playing a game or two of pool, but I honestly really suck. Some days I'm on fire and actually rock at it.My average game was usually a complete and total disaster, it was embarrassing. I was really hoping that today was going to be one of those very few good days, I need to back that sass up somehow.
" I doubt you will."
"Don't under estimate me."I fired back. I was more determined to play a good game now that he had doubts.
Fortunately I was having a great day, well a fantastic day (sorry I needed to brag a little bit about that).I was sinking almost everything, even making shots that were extremely difficult, well difficult for me. I think all the booze I had drank so far was helping to be honest.. I ended up killing it for two rounds. Apparently loosing twice to a girl was enough for Tanner because he quit and went to sit down. I played a few more rounds with a couple of other people, losing terribly might I add, before I decided I needed to focus more on my alcohol consumption.
"Finally decided to quit eh?"
"Yea, the rye needs some more attention. Plus it seems like more people are clearing out now."
"You're right."
"Apparently I can only beat you tonight in pool. So quitting before I embarrassed myself further seemed like a good idea."
"I wouldn't say it was that embarrassing.... Never mind you're right it was pretty embarrassing."
Our conversation flowed easily from there. We talked about anything and everything. Things with Tanner was super comfortable and easy. I learnt that Tanner worked in the oilfield, owned three rental properties, but still lived at home (guys that still live with their parents is pretty big turn off for me because I am so independent, so he was now on strike two sadly). In general the only thing we had in common was our love for hockey and Dodge trucks. Not that I was even looking for any thing further than a few drinks and some conversation, I just don't do relationships anymore, casual or serious. Next thing I knew Joe, the bartender, was putting a round of shots down in front of us.
"To new friends!" Joe sang out.
It wasn't until after all three of us took the shot I realized we were the only ones left in the pub. I was a little too drunk by now to care though.
"Josie, I closed your tab. The rest of the drinks tonight are on the house."
Oh boy I'm officially in trouble now- I thought to myself.
" I can't do that Joe. I need to pay for my drinks."
"Your only in town for one night, we want you to come back. I won't take no for an answer."
"Josie, jut let Joe buy you a drink or two since you wouldn't let me buy you one." Tanner piped up.
"Fine, but not too many! I need to be on the road early. OK well before noon."
One more drink turned into a few more. Then it turned into tequila shots. Eventually it led to being drunk enough that I was dancing on the pool table, and then the bar. Wild child Josie was coming out in full force. When I finally checked my phone to see the time I couldn't believe it was 4 am!
"Guys I really need to go, otherwise I will not be able to function once the sun comes up."
"Josie we are having so much fun though!' Tanner called out.
"Yea, what Tanner said!"
"For real. I have to be in Alberta in a few days and I want to be unpacked and settled before I start work on Monday,"
"Fine. But at least give me your number."
"Tanner just put yours in my phone. I only give out a fake number, and your town has the crappiest service ever." I handed him my phone so he could do just that.
"So how do I know you will text me."
"You just will have to wait and see."
With that I walked out of the pub to make the trek back to my uncle's.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Tanner was shorter than I had expected. Everyone had talked him up so much I was expecting a tall extremely good looking hunk of man and I was sorely disappointed on the height factor. What I really mean is he is extremely short. I'm barely over 5' (OK lets face it I'm only 5') and he isn't much taller than me. Although I'm short I prefer my men over 6', I need to have someone around that can reach the stuff I can't. Tanner was a cocky asshole, again exactly my type. If you factored out the height issue he was hot. Light brown hair, muscular body, chiseled features and gorgeous blue eyes. If he had been taller I'd be drooling.
"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Sorry but no." I rolled my eyes and thought to myself- Here we go.
"Come on, why not?"
"I just prefer to buy my own drinks."
"Fine. Will you at least play a game of pool with me?"
"I'll whoop your ass in a round of pool."
Now I love playing a game or two of pool, but I honestly really suck. Some days I'm on fire and actually rock at it.My average game was usually a complete and total disaster, it was embarrassing. I was really hoping that today was going to be one of those very few good days, I need to back that sass up somehow.
" I doubt you will."
"Don't under estimate me."I fired back. I was more determined to play a good game now that he had doubts.
Fortunately I was having a great day, well a fantastic day (sorry I needed to brag a little bit about that).I was sinking almost everything, even making shots that were extremely difficult, well difficult for me. I think all the booze I had drank so far was helping to be honest.. I ended up killing it for two rounds. Apparently loosing twice to a girl was enough for Tanner because he quit and went to sit down. I played a few more rounds with a couple of other people, losing terribly might I add, before I decided I needed to focus more on my alcohol consumption.
"Finally decided to quit eh?"
"Yea, the rye needs some more attention. Plus it seems like more people are clearing out now."
"You're right."
"Apparently I can only beat you tonight in pool. So quitting before I embarrassed myself further seemed like a good idea."
"I wouldn't say it was that embarrassing.... Never mind you're right it was pretty embarrassing."
Our conversation flowed easily from there. We talked about anything and everything. Things with Tanner was super comfortable and easy. I learnt that Tanner worked in the oilfield, owned three rental properties, but still lived at home (guys that still live with their parents is pretty big turn off for me because I am so independent, so he was now on strike two sadly). In general the only thing we had in common was our love for hockey and Dodge trucks. Not that I was even looking for any thing further than a few drinks and some conversation, I just don't do relationships anymore, casual or serious. Next thing I knew Joe, the bartender, was putting a round of shots down in front of us.
"To new friends!" Joe sang out.
It wasn't until after all three of us took the shot I realized we were the only ones left in the pub. I was a little too drunk by now to care though.
"Josie, I closed your tab. The rest of the drinks tonight are on the house."
Oh boy I'm officially in trouble now- I thought to myself.
" I can't do that Joe. I need to pay for my drinks."
"Your only in town for one night, we want you to come back. I won't take no for an answer."
"Josie, jut let Joe buy you a drink or two since you wouldn't let me buy you one." Tanner piped up.
"Fine, but not too many! I need to be on the road early. OK well before noon."
One more drink turned into a few more. Then it turned into tequila shots. Eventually it led to being drunk enough that I was dancing on the pool table, and then the bar. Wild child Josie was coming out in full force. When I finally checked my phone to see the time I couldn't believe it was 4 am!
"Guys I really need to go, otherwise I will not be able to function once the sun comes up."
"Josie we are having so much fun though!' Tanner called out.
"Yea, what Tanner said!"
"For real. I have to be in Alberta in a few days and I want to be unpacked and settled before I start work on Monday,"
"Fine. But at least give me your number."
"Tanner just put yours in my phone. I only give out a fake number, and your town has the crappiest service ever." I handed him my phone so he could do just that.
"So how do I know you will text me."
"You just will have to wait and see."
With that I walked out of the pub to make the trek back to my uncle's.
Monday 18 July 2016
Posting Schedule
Hey guys! I had planned on having another post up by now, but my weekend was crazy. In short my horse impaled himself, which is causing me to have to spend a ton of time at the barn tending to his wounds. My boyfriend surprised me with another cat, so I spent my time at home this weeeknd breaking up fights between my two other cats and the dog.
I have a ton of posts ready, I just need to edit them. I wrote these posts a couple years ago when I was first going to start a blog but chickened out. I had also wrote them very quickly so they need a little bit more added to them because I feel a few are short. For now I will say I will post once a week, with hopefully a bonus post in there if I can find the time. I can't promise a specific day each week because I honestly don't know what each day is going to bring me. But the next post will be up later today, and if not then first thing in the morning tomorrow.
Thank you guys all for reading, I hope you have enjoyed everything so far. :)
Josie
I have a ton of posts ready, I just need to edit them. I wrote these posts a couple years ago when I was first going to start a blog but chickened out. I had also wrote them very quickly so they need a little bit more added to them because I feel a few are short. For now I will say I will post once a week, with hopefully a bonus post in there if I can find the time. I can't promise a specific day each week because I honestly don't know what each day is going to bring me. But the next post will be up later today, and if not then first thing in the morning tomorrow.
Thank you guys all for reading, I hope you have enjoyed everything so far. :)
Josie
Wednesday 13 July 2016
Saskatchewan Part 1
My drive was boring. My first day I manged to miss the storm completely by taking the truck route through Northern Ontario. Stretches of this drive were beautiful but for the most part I just saw a lot of rocks and trees. My first stop was in the town of Nipigon after an 18 hour stretch of driving. I sent my aunt a text to let her know I was OK.
I'm in Nipigon.
Glad to hear! Mark just asked where Nippy had gone too. Love you! xoxo
LOL Love you too!
Mark was my youngest cousin and the funniest. I was going to miss him so much. That text alone almost had me turning back. But I knew that I needed to push myself on.
The drive thru the remainder of Ontario and into Manitoba was extremely uneventful. I found myself having to change the radio station. I was starting to get bored with country music. I needed to do one more stop in Manitoba just outside of Brandon. My first day had drained my energy. I manged to find a cute bed and breakfast for the night.
The B&B was fantastic and really quaint. I was the only guest for the night. The owner and I got along famously, after she realized that I too was a horse lover. I was introduced to all of her fur babies and was even offered to go for a ride the next day. Unfortunately I needed to keep a pretty tight schedule if I wanted to stop and see my Uncle in Saskatchewan.
Bright and early the next morning I was on the road. The weather was starting to take a turn. The wind was so strong my poor Jeep was almost blown off the road a few times. By the time I made it to Uncle Sam's I was exhausted. I had only planned on stopping in for a quick visit and getting on my way, but my uncles wife talked me into staying the night.
After a nap I awoke to news that it was my uncles night to cook, so that meant going to the local pub for wings and beer (exactly my kind of meal). Uncle Sam sent me down with the order for everyone as he had to make a quick pit stop along the way. Upon entering the pub I immediately met with stares, my uncle lives in small town Saskatchewan, and it caused me to feel really uncomfortable. The bartender was the first to approach me.
"Hey Josie. You are Josie right? Sam has told me so much about you"
"Yea I'm Josie" I laughed, "Hopefully he has only told you the good things!"
"Only good I promise. I'm sure you've had a long drive, are you wanting a Rye, Gin or some good old Pilsner?"
"I see Uncle has already told you my favorites. A rye and coke please and thanks."
"Sam brags about how you like all the same things as him.... Well except Caesars, your Uncle loves his Caesars."
"Ugh please never set a Caesar in front of me."
"Tonight is Sam's night to cook, I know what him and Ruth get. I just need to know what you want."
"Just some wings, in your BBQ sauce please!"
Within the next few minutes Uncle showed up. We ate dinner and laughed with some family friends. Everyone had heard all of the really embarrassing stories of me when I was a baby. Some I had apparently even met when I was younger when my cousin got married. This is probably when I should mention my parents decided after my older sisters were grown up and moved out they wanted more. I have a sister that is 24 years older, 20 years older and then my younger sister who is a year younger. Most of my first cousins are married and have kids, Minus my Aunt Sandy and Uncle Gavin's kids.
Uncle Sam and Aunt Ruth eventually left, but I decided to stay mostly because I was starting to feel my Rye's and wasn't ready to end the party yet. Eventually in walked Tanner. I'd heard bits and pieces about him all night since he and I were the same age and I knew enough to know he was a hockey player (crushing on the hockey players is such a Canadian thing, sorry guys). I knew right away he was my type. Tanner walked over grabbed my sunglasses and said "Is it too bright in here or what?"
I couldn't hold my sass back, as much as I tried.
"It was until you walked in"
"So I guess you're Josie."
"And I guess you're Tanner."
This was when I knew I had found trouble in Saskatchewan. Or was it that trouble had found me?
I'm in Nipigon.
Glad to hear! Mark just asked where Nippy had gone too. Love you! xoxo
LOL Love you too!
Mark was my youngest cousin and the funniest. I was going to miss him so much. That text alone almost had me turning back. But I knew that I needed to push myself on.
The drive thru the remainder of Ontario and into Manitoba was extremely uneventful. I found myself having to change the radio station. I was starting to get bored with country music. I needed to do one more stop in Manitoba just outside of Brandon. My first day had drained my energy. I manged to find a cute bed and breakfast for the night.
The B&B was fantastic and really quaint. I was the only guest for the night. The owner and I got along famously, after she realized that I too was a horse lover. I was introduced to all of her fur babies and was even offered to go for a ride the next day. Unfortunately I needed to keep a pretty tight schedule if I wanted to stop and see my Uncle in Saskatchewan.
Bright and early the next morning I was on the road. The weather was starting to take a turn. The wind was so strong my poor Jeep was almost blown off the road a few times. By the time I made it to Uncle Sam's I was exhausted. I had only planned on stopping in for a quick visit and getting on my way, but my uncles wife talked me into staying the night.
After a nap I awoke to news that it was my uncles night to cook, so that meant going to the local pub for wings and beer (exactly my kind of meal). Uncle Sam sent me down with the order for everyone as he had to make a quick pit stop along the way. Upon entering the pub I immediately met with stares, my uncle lives in small town Saskatchewan, and it caused me to feel really uncomfortable. The bartender was the first to approach me.
"Hey Josie. You are Josie right? Sam has told me so much about you"
"Yea I'm Josie" I laughed, "Hopefully he has only told you the good things!"
"Only good I promise. I'm sure you've had a long drive, are you wanting a Rye, Gin or some good old Pilsner?"
"I see Uncle has already told you my favorites. A rye and coke please and thanks."
"Sam brags about how you like all the same things as him.... Well except Caesars, your Uncle loves his Caesars."
"Ugh please never set a Caesar in front of me."
"Tonight is Sam's night to cook, I know what him and Ruth get. I just need to know what you want."
"Just some wings, in your BBQ sauce please!"
Within the next few minutes Uncle showed up. We ate dinner and laughed with some family friends. Everyone had heard all of the really embarrassing stories of me when I was a baby. Some I had apparently even met when I was younger when my cousin got married. This is probably when I should mention my parents decided after my older sisters were grown up and moved out they wanted more. I have a sister that is 24 years older, 20 years older and then my younger sister who is a year younger. Most of my first cousins are married and have kids, Minus my Aunt Sandy and Uncle Gavin's kids.
Uncle Sam and Aunt Ruth eventually left, but I decided to stay mostly because I was starting to feel my Rye's and wasn't ready to end the party yet. Eventually in walked Tanner. I'd heard bits and pieces about him all night since he and I were the same age and I knew enough to know he was a hockey player (crushing on the hockey players is such a Canadian thing, sorry guys). I knew right away he was my type. Tanner walked over grabbed my sunglasses and said "Is it too bright in here or what?"
I couldn't hold my sass back, as much as I tried.
"It was until you walked in"
"So I guess you're Josie."
"And I guess you're Tanner."
This was when I knew I had found trouble in Saskatchewan. Or was it that trouble had found me?
Tuesday 12 July 2016
My Hometown
Before I get to into my story there is one thing I have to tell you. My hometown is seriously beautiful. I'm not even joking. I grew up in Cottage Country in Ontario, need I say more? I wasn't far from a fantastic beach and even closer to ski village.
Coming from a lake community I am used to something always happening and always, I really do mean always, being outside rain, shine or even snow. People joke that you can go from skiing in the morning to going for a round of golf in the afternoon. My journey took me to Alberta, to an oilfield town to be specific. Some of you probably think that Alberta is beautiful and you know what your right. Parts of Alberta are breathtaking. But I must tell you if you plan to visit please do not stop in an oilfield town, you will be extremely disappointed, and you also may loose all hope in humanity.
Now don't get me wrong there are some great parts about living in an oilfield town and I have honestly met some great people. But compared to Banff, Jasper, Calgary, any part of BC and Cottage Country its a huge disappointment. When people find out where I am from they can't believe I left, and they always question why I won't move back. Through my story you'll understand why I can go back to visit but that I can never go back to live there permanently no matter how badly I want too.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I remember back when I thought my town was so large. I thought there was no greater place on earth. I am as my aunt calls me a "sun baby". I will spend as much time as possible out tanning and reading a book, swimming in the lake, or playing with the animals. Although when I say that it makes me sound like I'm pretty boring, but I have a wild side. I am the wild child in my family, also the klutz. Wherever there is a party or trouble you could always count on me to be there and you could pretty much guarantee there would be some crazy story about what I did, or how I hurt myself this time. I was known for holding my own and not backing down from anything. I could drink most people under the table, not exactly something I'm proud of but it was just the way I was.
My family thought that when I met Jeremy that I had finally started to settle down. As with any small town I met Jeremy while we were in High School. It was when we were 17, I know in a small town we should have met before that but my parents sent me to a private school for a while in hopes of gaining more control over me. I rebelled hard against my parents when I was younger. They starting treating me like the problem child so I became one, if the shoe fits why not wear it?
I don't remember everything from when we met as I had a boyfriend at the time. But what I can tell you is that it didn't take Jeremy long to convince me to leave said boyfriend to be with him. Soon I was riding around in his pick up truck and meeting his family. Jeremy was the male version of me. Full of crude jokes and sassiness, not sure if I can call it sassiness when applying it to him but whatever. Things were great, so great in fact that I took a year off from my university plans because he convinced me that saving money would be a better plan. I didn't realize until it was too late that really he had other plans for that.
My Mom and Dad loved Jeremy, more than they had ever loved me. My siblings were all even the same way. When my cousins piped up about their concerns my parents always defended Jer to no end, and usually ended up pinning it on me. I never gave anything a second thought. My parents always hated me, it was just how things were and Jer and I were happy. I was happy with myself and my life for the first time that I could remember.
During my year off my career path changed. I made the decision to stay in Agriculture rather than do Premed like I had planned. There are very few places in Ontario you can study agriculture, but I made the decision to do a two year program rather than a full four years under pressure from Jeremy. I am stubborn as a mule and was going to go to no matter what was said, but I at least compromised or so I thought. When I went to University finally, things changed and they changed for the worst.
Monday 11 July 2016
The Adventure of a Lifetime
“Josie, I know your scared but I truly believe this will be good for you.”
“I’m honestly not sure. I'm so worried about this drive. What if I hate it out there?” My composure was finally cracking. The entire thought of moving across the country was finally becoming real and I wasn't sure it was a reality I wanted.
My Aunt Sandy was my absolute best friend. I can't remember a time she hasn't supported me. Honestly if it wasn't for her I would never have had the balls to do this. Here I was 22 years old moving across the country by myself.
“Just think of it as an adventure. You never know what will happen along the way. But I know this will be great!”
My aunt was the optimistic one in the family. I'm not sure how she maintained it to be honest. Life had knocked her down hard, repeatedly. Through everything she always remained positive and upbeat. Well unless I did something stupid (which happens often). I wanted nothing more than for her to come with me.
When I first told her about my idea I thought she was going to tell me it was crazy,or that my health wasn’t up to it yet. But to my surprise she was ecstatic about it. She was ready to start packing right then. Her enthusiasm made me excited (it's contagious I tell you!). I needed to slow her roll. I needed to do more planning and I needed to wait for clearance from the doctor. Cops here may have been ok with me driving while in crutches, but cops outside of our town most likely wouldn't be.
During the weeks I was supposed to be on bed rest we got everything organized. We found a job for me. My aunt contacted some friends of my mom, which I wasn't overly happy about but that's a story for another day, and found me a place to stay. Even my bosses were happy for me, although very sad about having to find a replacement which would be very hard, I set the bar high but I had also turned their business around for them. Everything was falling into place. The ease of everything told me this was the right choice.
People thought my move was because of my ex fiancé. And maybe they were right, I'm still not sure what made me think of this crazy idea. What I do know is I'm still not over him. Jeremy and I had broke up a year ago. No matter how hard I tried I could not move on. Everything in our hometown reminded me of him. No one knew that I still loved him, I hid it well. Not even my aunt knew. Everyone in town had their own ideas on what happened, but no one knew the real story. I just let them think he cheated on me, which was a pretty easy conclusion for everyone to jump to since he had a new girlfriend within a week. I guess this drive would help me figure out how to finally get over him.
I'm not sure why I felt like today snuck up on me. I knew that it was coming. Now that it was here I was panicking. My aunt and I crammed the last of my stuff in my Jeep and I was fighting hard to hold back tears.
“Josie don't you start crying now. You never cry. Just remember home will always be here. We all love you and are so proud.”
“I'm not sure what I'm going to do without you guys though. You, Uncle Gavin, Sean. You keep me sane.” I was really close to breaking down now. “I’m not even getting to say goodbye to everyone.”
“They will understand. If you don't leave now you'll get caught in the storm. So stop stalling and get your butt in the car!”
After saying our I love you’s I got in. I set the radio to the Highway and watched as my home town faded in the rearview. My new adventure was starting, as scary as it was.
“I’m honestly not sure. I'm so worried about this drive. What if I hate it out there?” My composure was finally cracking. The entire thought of moving across the country was finally becoming real and I wasn't sure it was a reality I wanted.
My Aunt Sandy was my absolute best friend. I can't remember a time she hasn't supported me. Honestly if it wasn't for her I would never have had the balls to do this. Here I was 22 years old moving across the country by myself.
“Just think of it as an adventure. You never know what will happen along the way. But I know this will be great!”
My aunt was the optimistic one in the family. I'm not sure how she maintained it to be honest. Life had knocked her down hard, repeatedly. Through everything she always remained positive and upbeat. Well unless I did something stupid (which happens often). I wanted nothing more than for her to come with me.
When I first told her about my idea I thought she was going to tell me it was crazy,or that my health wasn’t up to it yet. But to my surprise she was ecstatic about it. She was ready to start packing right then. Her enthusiasm made me excited (it's contagious I tell you!). I needed to slow her roll. I needed to do more planning and I needed to wait for clearance from the doctor. Cops here may have been ok with me driving while in crutches, but cops outside of our town most likely wouldn't be.
During the weeks I was supposed to be on bed rest we got everything organized. We found a job for me. My aunt contacted some friends of my mom, which I wasn't overly happy about but that's a story for another day, and found me a place to stay. Even my bosses were happy for me, although very sad about having to find a replacement which would be very hard, I set the bar high but I had also turned their business around for them. Everything was falling into place. The ease of everything told me this was the right choice.
People thought my move was because of my ex fiancé. And maybe they were right, I'm still not sure what made me think of this crazy idea. What I do know is I'm still not over him. Jeremy and I had broke up a year ago. No matter how hard I tried I could not move on. Everything in our hometown reminded me of him. No one knew that I still loved him, I hid it well. Not even my aunt knew. Everyone in town had their own ideas on what happened, but no one knew the real story. I just let them think he cheated on me, which was a pretty easy conclusion for everyone to jump to since he had a new girlfriend within a week. I guess this drive would help me figure out how to finally get over him.
I'm not sure why I felt like today snuck up on me. I knew that it was coming. Now that it was here I was panicking. My aunt and I crammed the last of my stuff in my Jeep and I was fighting hard to hold back tears.
“Josie don't you start crying now. You never cry. Just remember home will always be here. We all love you and are so proud.”
“I'm not sure what I'm going to do without you guys though. You, Uncle Gavin, Sean. You keep me sane.” I was really close to breaking down now. “I’m not even getting to say goodbye to everyone.”
“They will understand. If you don't leave now you'll get caught in the storm. So stop stalling and get your butt in the car!”
After saying our I love you’s I got in. I set the radio to the Highway and watched as my home town faded in the rearview. My new adventure was starting, as scary as it was.
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